Are those pigeons flying amongst us as we frolic around town or are they vicious
winged creatures terrorizing the public? I'm going to have to go with the latter.
They should do some sort of "Animals that Attack" Animal Planet special on the
pigeons here. I have seen several mothers toting their children around town in
strollers adorned with a plastic cover. I now know why. It's not to protect them
from the 20 second rain showers. Nope, it's to save them from the bully's of the
sky.
As I was walking down the streets of London two weeks ago, I witnessed my first
pigeon harassment. This poor man, an innocent bystander really, was calling out
to one of his friends. The next second a pigeon is within literally 30 centimeters of his face, I swear it could have blinded the poor guy. As I was the non-involved third party, I could not contain my fit of hysterics.
winged creatures terrorizing the public? I'm going to have to go with the latter.
They should do some sort of "Animals that Attack" Animal Planet special on the
pigeons here. I have seen several mothers toting their children around town in
strollers adorned with a plastic cover. I now know why. It's not to protect them
from the 20 second rain showers. Nope, it's to save them from the bully's of the
sky.
As I was walking down the streets of London two weeks ago, I witnessed my first
pigeon harassment. This poor man, an innocent bystander really, was calling out
to one of his friends. The next second a pigeon is within literally 30 centimeters of his face, I swear it could have blinded the poor guy. As I was the non-involved third party, I could not contain my fit of hysterics.
The pigeon did not just have an "accident" on this poor man, it really went to town on him. He was covered in the evidence of pigeon
harassment.
In following with the rules of karma, it would only be fair that I would suffer the same fate as my poor friend. Within five minutes of arriving in the wonderful city of Bath, I felt something sucker punch me in the stomach. I look down to find a pleasant surprise all over my WHITE shirt. Not only did the creature destroy my cotton tank top, it also left a trail of goodies all over my jeans. After several bystanders got a good laugh and a few candid photos, I retreated back to my hotel with my tail between my legs. I had laughed at someone else's pigeon mishap and fate had come to find me. Typical.
So, I have to wonder: Is this just a horrible pandemic or has Queen Elizabeth designed some sort of mutant strain of killer pigeon to weed out the weak and send annoying tourists scurrying back to America? It really gets you thinking about possible conspiracy theories. While I doubt that there are actually any hyper designer aggressive pigeons flying amongst us, I can't deny that they are incredibly scary creatures.
You have been warned.
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